I'm trying to learn to take joy in even the smallest chores.  I mean, if I've already decided to do it, for whatever reason, resistance robs me of any possibility of getting any of the good stuff out of it.  Humans seem to take their reward in finishing the job, not in the process of doing the job.  I believe procrastination is born of resistance to chores or obligations that we don't wish to do.  Obviously, in some part of our minds, they are not a choice.  So, if we are going to do them, the resistance robs us of the possibility of any joy other than that gained from finishing. 

My attempt to take some kind of positive attitude towards that which I do, gives me the opportunity to, once again, demonstrate my self-will.  In some circles, self-will is seen as a negative component of our make-up.  Sure, self-will doesn't work on that over which we have no power, but all the other stuff?  I think it does.  I am not beholding to anyone else's emotional needs and I don't really believe others are unless they have children that are not adults.  I am only responsible for my own, as I believer we all are, ultimately. 

I'm sure there are many who might depend, emotionally, on another.  We are really responsible for meeting our own needs and I'm not too interested in people whose co-dependency requires them to look to others for their sustenance.  To be real honest, they bore me.  What a waste of a life; to pin your joy on someone else's ability to meet your needs.  I think love is about giving, not getting.

I went outside today and the hyacinths are in bloom.  The scent is heady and I can smell the ones I cut and put in the kitchen from here.  It's time to paint.  I'm making real progress and for that I am truly grateful.