It is said that we recreate the emotional scenarios from our childhood.  That we will seek out the kind of relationships that give us the same emotional position we had as children.  Well, I've been digging in the ashes; going over old strife and feelings of inadequacy.  Where did it start?  With an email from an old college friend.  He and his wife are teachers in Morocco.  They are getting ready to move to a small island south of Korea where they were both able to get jobs teaching.   I have recieved pictures of their travels to the most exotic and interesting places.  It's amazing.  Then I was thinking about my friend, Megan, living in Ukraine as a Peace Corp volunteer.

I know it's fear that keeps me from doing anything very adventurous.  I'm pretty sure that's what rules a lot of people's behavior.  It's either fear of the unknown or, in a lot of cases, fear that we disappoint the less adventurous people in our lives.  I think it's a little easier for Megan because she is single.  She's not hampered by the fear driven co-dependency that many couples have.  Obviously not Steven and his wife.  They have kids, and I assume grandkids, so it's not like they have no ties.  I am in awe of these fearless people.  

Needless to say, my life pales in comparison.  What holds me back?  Well, I have kids, but they have their own lives; that's as it should be.  I'm not in a relationship so that saves me from that whole other ball and chain. Maybe I'm just too comfortable to take many risks.  It's safe here in my little life.  I wonder, on my death bed, if I will have regrets.  

I had better get into my studio.  It's the one place where I feel accomplished and unafraid.