I have been thinking a lot about competition.  It seems like the entire human race is in a competition; to get there first, to win the jackpot, to to become famous, to have a bigger, better whatever.  I don't think the outcome is positive. 

Occasionally when I can't fast forward through the commercials fast enough, I get a glimpse of a preview for a new reality television show.  My immediate reaction is, "Who would watch this crap?  Who?  And What is our society coming to?".   The answer is actually pretty clear; lots of people must be watching to continue the cycle, which begets more crap.  These television programs encourage people to do the basest things imaginable to get fame and fortune.  Jesus, would you really dress up in some ridiculous outfit, make a fool of yourself, eat worms or swim with snakes to get a prize or some money?  But, I don't think it's about the prizes; I think it's about what Andy Warhol coined as the "Fifteen minutes of Fame" syndrome.  It's about winning. 

And where do I even get started on why we pay such rapt attention to someone like Paris Hilton....  Well, you get my point. 

Then, of course, there is our behavior behind the wheel of our automobiles.  First, people seem to think they are safer if they have the biggest fucking rig they can find.  They are not affected by the cost of gas or the environment.  It's all about them and be damned anybody who gets in their way.  How about the people who wait until the last minute to make a required merge so they can get ahead of everyone possible?  What's that about? Almost worse are the people who try to purposely close the gap so no one can get in.   OK, here's the bottom line; are they getting there sooner?  Not really, so it's not about that.  It's about being first, being chosen, being the important one.. ..winning. 

And don't get me started on the rudeness of the all-important cell phone users.....

On a more personal note, I'm aware of how competition has ruled my life.  I use to be one of those drivers.  Although I have way too much pride to be on a reality show, I wanted the biggest and the best.  These are instincts I fight against every day. 

I was raised in the kind of environment that was a breeding ground for competition.  My father rewarded outstanding behavior and my mother humiliated me whenever possible.  It didn't help that I had an older sister who, it seemed to me, could do no wrong (the flip side being that I could do no right).  I got the sense that winning was everything.  That if you won you wouldn't feel like such a loser.  And, when I did win, after basking in the short term elation, I would just go back to feeling like a loser.  

The only thing I can do is to try and do better.