I watched the Antique Road Show a couple of weeks ago and there was this guy who brought some treasure in and was being interviewed.  He was probably 50 something and was wearing a black shiny toupee.  Now, mind you, he had eyebrows so I don't think it was a chemo thing.  Anyway I was struck, not for the first time, by how we see ourselves.  As we grow older we sort of squint at ourselves, recognize our youthful familiarity and carry on thinking that's how the rest of the world sees us.  How else do you explain some of the choices people make as their youth fades?

There was a time in my life when I wanted to start a magazine called, "Don't You Know How Stupid You Look?".  I was planning on the first issue being dedicated to men at the gym.  Now mind you, I know lots of women who look stupid too, but men just leave themselves so wide open....  Maybe it's their lack of awareness...

OK, I mean.  What else is new?

Point?  I do it too.  I shower, blow dry my hair, put on make up and get dressed.  I look in the mirror with that sort of squinty look that says I look good and off I go.  Then I walk by a big window somewhere and get a glimpse of myself.  Jesus, I hardly recognize that ordinary, kind of frumpy older woman.  

It sucks.  I want my illusion.