I think I use to like arguing.  At first I would argue even if I didn't know what I was talking about.  Then, since being the fool has never much appealed to me, I only argued if I was pretty sure of my position.  As time passed, especially in the last few years, I've grown uncomfortable with confllict and really stopped arguing.  I try to never engage with people who need to be right about their side.  I do, however, love to argue with people who are fun.  Full circle?

Here I am again; in remodeling hell.  It's the same old thing.  I would find a completely finished house, but it would be too much money or in the wrong neighborhood.  So, of course, I buy a house in the right area, but that needs work.  I embark on the process that I use to love.  People don't return your calls or don't show up and the schedule gets all out of whack.  Then I end up having to reschedule the few people who are with the program.  The house is a huge mess with all my furniture and boxes shoved in corners.  If even one fucking thing would actually be done I might be able to organize a few things.  As it is, I hate it so much that I flee to the apartment where I don't have to look at the dust, dirt and half done work.

Then there is the whole money issue....trying to save on the project and watching it slip through my fingertips.  I really, really need  to get back to painting.  This sucks!

What a ride it's been since arriving in Portland.  One day I have a house, the next day I don't.  I think people are holding on pretty tight in this economy.  Either they aren't selling or they aren't being realistic with their prices.  At this point there is nothing in sight.  I don't mind living in this apartment, but there is nothing for me to do, activity-wise.  So, I've decided to explore the idea of stufio space until the right house picks me.

Now if I can just find my painting equipment in storage units packed to the ceiling.

This move has truly kicked my butt.  I don't remember it being so complicated three years ago.  Most things have been broken along the way; tooth, car, internet, tv, phone and my mind.  I swear I've dropped into a technical and mechanical Bermuda Triangle.  Don't even get me started on the Bozo who took my order for Comcast.

I just walked to Whole Foods to get a bite for dinner.  I don't think I ran into anyone over the age of 30.  There are times when I feel really separate from youth like a dottering old fool.  Of course on the way home I walked in front of two girls who were talking about how they didn't get why high definition TV was such a big deal.  So, maybe it's a gender thing instead of an age thing....

I've maybe bought a house.  I don't want to jinx it by thinking this sale will go through.  Then, of course, I get to move again.  Where did my golden touch go?