Since I'm not painting, I don't feel compelled to write.  Then someone emails me to say they're reading it.  Of course that doesn't mean I have anything to write about.  I think it's interesting that the activity of the holidays and moving leaves little time for reflection.  I haven't had an original (to me) thought since all this began. 

I don't have a house in Portland so I will be putting my stuff in storage and living in an apartment.   Which means I won't have a place to paint.  I already miss the meditative state of painting and listening to music.  I'm a little concerned because I have so much to do right now that I don't have time to be depressed.  God only knows what will happen when I arrive in Portland and can't pursue my favorite occupation.  

Either the Portland homeowners haven't heard about the real estate market or they have, and are not selling.  The houses are sitting on the market and they are lowering the prices in incriments.  I know I've sold my house for much less than it's worth, but that was the price of being able to move to Portland.  Why don't the people up there get it?  They seem to think that because they bought their houses in 2005 or 2006 for too much money that, improvements or not, they are worth that much now.  A house is only worth what someone will pay for it.  I may have been blinded by the first house I fell in love with up there, but I won't be making that mistake again.  I'm planning on getting a house that's appropriately priced for the market.  I assume the homeowners up there will wake up pretty soon. 

In the mean time, back to the boxes.  Ugh!

I packed up my studio today.  I'm too busy to paiint and I want to get started.  I feel a little overwhelmed.  These are the times I hate being alone.  There's Christmas and moving; both huge chores.  I know I will get it all done.  I always do.

Contingencies; real estate is all about contingencies.  As of today, I don't have a house in Portland.  I thought I did, but now I don't.  So, I either find a house in the next couple of days or it's storage for my belongings.  It would be so much easier to move in somewhere directly, but if it's not to be, then it's not to be.  My sister reminds me that perhaps it's time to let go.  Isn't that advice all of us obsessive personalities love?

So, I will give it one more try, with one more house, and then I'll let go.

Why don't more people open up? I know I talk too much at times, but I'd rather be like this than one of those secret keepers that keep it close to the cuff. Maybe it's experience or maybe it's time, but I never see any good come out of not communicating. This isn't a game we are playing and it will end eventually. I don't want to be one of those people who has regrets. I don't want to wish that I could say something to someone when it's too late. Speaking of which, I talked to the people whose house I was trying to buy. They finally went over the real estate agent's and called me. Good thing because I was really getting suspicious. I was not wrong about them. They are who they say they are; they're like me.  I'm sorry I didn't get their house, but I think I have made a terrific new connection and for that I'm grateful. Now back to the search. I know I will be comparing everything to the house I tried to buy, but I will just have to get over it. I sense that people are starting to panic a little about whether they will ever be able to sell their houses. I''m glad I'm a buyer.  Now if I can just figure out this PODS thing for storing my stuff....

• I'm absolutely exhausted.  It's amazing how much energy I can put into something I want.  I found the most charming, most me house in Portland and the owners had accepted my offer and we just waiting to hear about the house they were going to buy.  Yesterday, out of the blue, I get a termination agreement as they decided not to sell the house to me. 
• I don't know why because no one would really tell me.  I don't know what happened in a few hours, but I suspect real estate agents of monkeying with stuff they shouldn't.  The sellers were absolutely delightful (and their son was amazing) and I thought we had some kind of open communication, but all that stopped as of last night.  If these people's house fell through, I totally understand, but if they are playing me they picked the wrong woman to tangle with. 
• Anyway, I guess I wasn't suppose to have that house and it's back to the drawing board.  I'm beginning to see the value in a house that isn't completely finished, although that would have made it an easy move for me. 
• I do know, without a doubt, that what people put out comes back to them several times over.  I think the reason I have such an awesomely charmed life is because I don't treat people unfairly,   I make an effort (big one) to put all my wants and needs aside to walk in someone else's shoes.  Although I can go through the emotional wringer, and it takes me awhile to get there, it's worked for 60 years. 

I can't believe it's been so long since I've written.  So much has happened and is happening, and here I sit; spinning like top, going nowhere.  I've sold my house.  I've bought (sort of) one in Portland.  I'm waiting for the owners of the house in Portland to get settled on the house they are buying.  Then they can take their contingency off which is keeping the sale in limbo.  I am so damned good at letting others be in control.  In the mean time I keep looking at houses up there just in case.

Regardless of what happens with the house up there, I have to be out of my house by the 8th.  That's where the inertial part comes in.  I know I should be doing something about packing and something about Christmas and I sit doing nothing.  (Wait, I worked out.  Does that count?)

I think the most amazing thing is that I really like the people who bought my house.  They seemed to love the light and enery here.  My lovely creation will be in earth-loving, Obama supporter hands.  How cool is that?  AND we did the deal without real estate agents.  Yahoo!

Thanksgiving was wonderful.  Danica had at her house and it was lovely.  It's great to cook in her kitchen because she is right behind me, cleaning every mess I make.  What I am really thankful for is my family.  Second to that, I'm really thankful that all my problems are privileged people problems.