I went to a meeting the other night and the leader was bragging about all the good he's done in the world.  Don't we get to a certain age, where we rest on our laurels, and don't have to point out every good thing we do?  Does that mean they are only giving to get the recognition?  Do they lack humbleness or are they just too obtuse to realize how they sound? 

The older I get the more clearly I identify what people are saying.  I think it's obvious that they should stop, because if I can see through them, so can others.  Maybe they don't give a shit because they aren't nearly as self conscious as I am.  Wouldn't it be nice if I had the ability to improve my self consciousness rather that my ability to recognize what idiots other people are?

I love that this website connects me with people I thought were lost to me.  I got an email from my old college roommate and I love catching up with her.  I was writing her about what I was like now and I realized that I sounded pathetic.  Bottom line; I have no tolerance for emotional pain and fear of it drives my life.  

I am, however, painting. 

I hate dishonesty.

I wish there was magic.

I've written three entries and the damned computer erased them each time I moved the mouse.  

That and the dogs barking has ended this entry. 

I was watching a TV program last night and one character asked the other, "How do you know when you are in love?".  Her answer was, "All the songs make sense."  So true.  When I paint, I use a great headset.  It must be love because the music still makes sense.  

I started painting today.  I'm working on the one I agonized over because I didn't know how to paint sand. I decided that rather than try to paint it, I would use it.  My grand nephews and nieces have sand boxes with sand from the beach.  I had to get a medium that would hold it and dry quickly and it actually looks kind of cool.  

I realized I didn't have the right size canvas to begin the new one I want to create.  So, I went online to see if there was a store I could go to that wasn't downtown.  Guess not, but I did run across someone speaking at a store on "How to Write an Artist's Blog".  Once again, I have no idea what I'm doing.