I think writing in this blog is the new age way of talking to myself.  If I say it out loud, or in this case write it, I might hear it.  Perhaps then I will be motivated to do what I say I'm going to do.  

I went into my studio today to start organizing and I had to take something out to the garden shed.  I ended up pulling weeds and pulling up plants.  (After all, it's yard cart week.)  I hate working in the yard.  I certainly don't care if it says "wow", when I walk out there.  I just don't want it to be too much of an embarrassment.  My sister is a fabulous gardener and her yard is a real piece of art.  

Time does fly.  Seems to fly faster the older I get.  I have moved and am getting settled in my new house.  I am determined not to move again.  This time it really kicked my butt.  I just hope that all my friends and family will be brave enough to confront me if I come up with any idea that has "moving" in it.  Actually, this house is perfect for me and has everything I need. 

I realized, the other day, while hanging art and arranging furniture, that I create "sets".  Each room has to please me enough so that I think "wow" when I walk in.  My last house in Eugene was that way and it appears this one may be too.  I really like it here.

I'm sort of puttering today and, as always, when I spend enough time alone, I start to ponder.  If you would have asked me, ten years ago, who would be the bravest and most adventurous of my friends, I would have never (in a million years) have said Megan.  Yet here she is, living in the Ukraine for two years as a Peace Corp volunteer.  I so admire her willingness to be of service and go somewhere they don't have good coffee.  

Yes, I've divorced, gone back to school, moved to different city, travelled, run the Rogue in an inflatable kayak and become an artist.  The rest of my friends are pretty much doing exactly the same thing, in the same place with the same people.  How do people who have so much creative energy end up doing the same thing, year after year, and someone like Megan, who never made a peep, is taking the biggest risk of all?  I certainly don't have the answer.  

Now that I've pondered all that, it's time for me to get down to brass tacks.  The biggest risks I take these days is creating and showing other people my art.  So, what room in my new house is not organized and useable?  You got it; my studio.  Guess I better walk the talk.  

I've been working on a sea scape and it's going well, but slowly.  Probably because I'm trying to paint sand which is something new.  I may not have too much time to paint since I started a remodel on my new house today.  It's such a cool house, built in 1904 and filled with character and light.  It has a pretty small front porch, but I thought there would be people to sit with me on the stairs; to enjoy the sun and passage of time.  Oh well, can't have everything you ask for. 

My studio is going to be fabulous if it ever gets done. 

OK, I guess I just don't have any talent as an abstract artist.  I worked on that thing for a couple of hours and got nowhere.  This is an old canvas on a craft center frame.  This is about the 3rd or 4th go around on it and it weighs a ton. 

I love it when people say about abstract art, "My four year old could do that."  I'm here to tell you that your four year old might be able to do it accidently, but it's really not that easy.  At least it's not for me. 

I talked to my oldest daughter today.  I asked her what she thought about me not hearing from a lot of people.  She said she believed that people were often overwhelmed with their own lives and that, quite frankly, I acted like it was no big deal and that I didn't need anything.  Boy, how did she get so wise?  That's so true.  I've never been able to ask for what I need; love, attention, time, whatever.  I think, in a way, it's created more loss.  When will I be able to admit who I am under this blustery facade?

I'm trying to work a little bit at a time on this abstract.  So far it hasn't improved much.